My approach assumes women have full agency and equal rights, and that power dynamics and life constraints are real.

Kindness spoken here.

“I grew up to have my father’s looks, my father’s speech patterns, my father’s posture, my father’s walk, my father’s opinions—and my mother’s contempt for my father.” Jules Feiffe

”Always clumsy trying new things. Some people come to therapy with steady, wise family or friend support and still want help sorting through something important. Others have never really had a steady hand from someone else. Sometimes that made them strong. Sometimes it also made it hard to ask for help, trust help, or even recognize what kind of help would actually fit. For some, what they got in the past was too much, too intrusive, too controlling. For others, it was too little, too late, or simply not there.

Therapy can be a place to rebuild what is needed. Not all at once, and not by pretending the therapist has all the answers. I try to show my hand. I bring training, experience, attention, and some intuition about what has helped other people in the past. You bring your life, your judgment, your pace, and your sense of what fits and what does not. We work with what makes sense, and leave aside what does not. The point is not for you to submit to a method. The point is for therapy to become useful to you.

Sometimes there is a great clot of something terrible hanging in the background—old trauma, fear, grief, rage, shame, dependency, a marriage gone wrong, a collapse in confidence, a long period of carrying too much alone. If that is there, we can look at it as needed, carefully, and without forcing the pace. You should have a say in what gets looked at now, what waits until later, and what needs to be approached in pieces. Some things do need to be faced. But therapy should help you face them with more steadiness and traction, not less.

If you want a male therapist and you’re vetting for basic respect, healthy boundaries, honest listening, equality, and emotional safety, trying to build a healthier relationship with yourself— you’re in the right place.

Give me a call, see if we’re a good fit.